Nikki, Louise and Star Cloud Draven are Britain’s first gender fluid family
Nikki and Louise Braven said they do not want their son Star Cloud to get “hung up” on being a boy.
Louise was born a man but is having hormone treatment to transform into a woman, while Nikki was born a woman but identifies as both male and female.
Star views Louise as his mother, although she is her biological father, and Nikki as his father, although she is his birth mother.
Nikki said star “chose” to call her daddy by calling her “dada”. Nikki dresses as a man on some days and wears high heels, lipstick and a bra on others.
Louise, 31, said: “Neither of us gets hung up on the gender we were born as.
“We don’t want our child constrained by that either. We’re just an ordinary family being who we want to be.”
Nikki and Louise do not want their four-year-old son to get ‘hung up’ on being a boy
We never tell Star he’s a boy, we tell him he can be whatever he wants
Star, who likes to wear make-up, paint his nails and play with dolls, wears both girls’ and boys’ clothes. The four-year-old said he might grow up to be a man or a woman.
Former pub bouncer Nikki, 30, said: “We want to give him the confidence to be who he wants – growing up, we didn’t have that.
“We never tell Star he’s a boy, we tell him he can be whatever he wants. We don’t buy gender specific toys or clothes and we let him choose what he wears. Pink is one of his favourite colours.”
“He loves wearing leggings and, because of his name, he loves clothes with star patterns on.
“He loves Barbie dolls, dressing up and fairies – but he also likes toys considered as boys’, such as cars.
“We use the words “he” and “him” but don’t make any kind of big deal out of him being one sex or the other.”
Louise started living as a woman a year before Star was born, but said she has felt female since the age of eight.
Nikki first identified as lesbian when she met Luise, who was then male, at an LGBT meeting in 2011.
Star views Louise as his mum and Nikki as his dad
The couple married in a pagan ceremony in 2012 and are believed to be Britain’s first entirely gender fluid family.
Star will wear a boys’ uniform when he starts school in September, but has picked out a pink vest and socks.
Louise said: “We don’t tell him who to be. We let him lead us.”
Nikki added: “When we took Star shopping for his school uniform we knew he’d need male underwear because it’s more appropriate for his shape.
“But he chose pink socks and vests and we’re more than happy for him to go like that.”
She said staff at Star’s new school has been supportive in talks about his gender-neutrality.
Nikki said: “They’ve said they want to do whatever they can to help. They seem quite pleased to have an inclusive family.”
However the unusual family revealed they have been shouted at and that people have stared and laughed at them when out in public.
Nikki added: “Sometimes they’d even follow us shouting insults. I’m not easily intimated because I was a bouncer in a gay bar, but Lou found it really upsetting.”
Louise is not close to her parents, but Nikki’s parents first found their decision to raise Star as gender neutral “difficult”.
Nikki said: “They’d ask why we didn’t dress him in blue and buy him boys’ toys.
“But they see now he’s such a happy, free child. Mum said Santa’s bringing him a pink bike for Christmas.”